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wwoooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Right now I'm chillen out listening to some radiohead...its pretty peaceful
I set a new sleeping record today, 12:56. Its not impressive but I definately don't wanna make it a habit, especially since sleeping too much makes you feel like crap the rest of the day.mmm...
I've had the same clarinet lesson 3 weeks in a row now, which would make you think I would be trying more, but I am not getting anywhere because I suck at the music because I don't like the music in the first place. And I pissed Steve off in the meanwhile, because I couldn't tongue correctly, and he expected me to do so just from some stupid song...
But I'm pissed as well. I think I practice enough and need some other direction, not some gay ass song that discourages me for 3 weeks that hasn't helped me yet.
And so their are 2 people that make me feel happy. chemistry is wonderful.
Questioning my friendship with one of my best friends I have no emotional connection with, I know we need eachother. I usually can't be friends with people if I don't feel anything for them, but this is an unusual case where I know I'm needed...it feels good to lead someone, and for some reason we'd be lost without eachother. It's like an exchange of needs, keeping eachother sane with no personal involvement but contribution. We do so much together without growing. It's like "okay thanks, bye. lets' do something tomorrow" "fine with me bye" That's how it feels.
Waste of time? Maybe. It's more sad than anything.
 
 
Aktuelle Stimmung: contemplativecontemplative
Aktuelle Musik: radiohead
 
 
02 Januar 2006 @ 13:39

Where are the real people?! The people who don't act like robots, these mechanical estranged imbeciles, passive without substance; what the HELL is going on?!?! I repeat, what the hell.
Is everyone hiding? HELLOOOOO? hello? ...mmm the lights aren't on and nobodys home?

This is a severe case of talking to myself. Unfortunately, I'm pretty much the only person I wanna talk to right now.
Wee. Got to practice; one of the few things keeping me sane.

I'm liking the colors.

The mask has good music in it.

 
 
01 Januar 2006 @ 21:08
So it's the "new year" and it doesn't feel so "new" seeing as it was just a small second, just a limpse of time that deciphers another number of a date you'll write on your exam and be like 'holy crap i'm old'. Even though you're not. And what? You go to a party with failed expectations sit your ass down for like 3 hours and gain 10 lbs. eating cake and doritos, wishing you were at home sleeping like FUCK the FUCKING ball of crystal that drops?? and doesn't even smash. Oh wow what a fab-ul-ass site to see. All those people in Time Square like WOOT WOOT what a jolly ol' day I am REBORN and CLEANSED of all the terrible horrible things that have ever been done unto me or myself.
No you don't get to start over, and more than likely the day after (as in my case) you're gonna feel like shit cause you ate too much, didn't sleep enough, and your brain is fried. Or, in my case, my parents fight in the morning, then in the afternoon my dad decides to leave and get wasted for like 4 hours come home yell some more sit his ass on the couch take over the living room and have everyone hate him.
I need to practice but can't bring myself to it right now. Oh where is the justice. 2006 you're a bitch.
 
 
29 Dezember 2005 @ 22:24
I had a lovely lesson with Steve today, it took me a while, but I've figured out we share a lot of the same humor. I guess I don't act myself too much while in my lesson, but, I learend a lot today about tonguing and all that fun technical stuff. Kathryn was there and was talking about a party with some college guys and one guy in particular *stalker cough*. God, talk about someone who would get totally raped lol. Good job Katie...those smart decision making ideals of yours, yet I still love you and your indearing soul.
Who the fuck won the concerto competition??!





what do you see?!?! oooooo
 
 
28 Dezember 2005 @ 16:23
I almost bought this book written by Darwin on natural selection and all of his theories, a lot that I percieve to be true. I should have bought it!!! I find myself looking in there for something about religion, I guess I'm trying to find something to turn to no matter how long I try to ignore it. Subconsciously I'm not, though I wish I were..

So last night I went to a movie *kind kong!!* then to get some food with my friend. It wasn't a date but it sure felt like one since he paid for everything and was acting his usual self, being a gentleman and all that. The whole thing was kind of strange, everything was there exept for any actual contact which i wouldn't have minded but would have becuase he has a girlfriend. Exactly. He has a girlfriend. haha. oh dear.

This break consisted of: party, party, hang out, mall, movie, sleep, babysit, lesson, practice PRACTICE PRACTICE!!!!!!! and party lol. and much much more minor details.

Kiser: we're just a messed up pair eh?
angielubsyou: i sure hope so lol.
angielubsyou: at least messed up has something going for it right?

That was neat.

filler word of the day= yea...
 
 
 
23 Dezember 2005 @ 11:45
catfood catfood catfood. This song really goes with the random present I inherited yesterday. Gumball dispenser filled with catfood. Quite comical and dissappointing lol.
Last hour chemistry, wow the last 5 minutes of that class I just gave up talking to them and sat in my desk with my new gloves C-money gave me. I'd like to blame all of this on 8th grade but it's not all my fault except for the caring part, which in this case, is a culprit.

Today will be merry; I'm going to walk to the salon and then call some people up. Sam's party, oh god I miss him. I feel hugs coming on hehe. It'll be good to see patch, and sam and everyone! But mostly Patch-er-ick and Salsa Samzilla. OMG That's what my dream was about! I was calling Sam Samzilla and we were watching that new movie, uhm, ..King Kong! Yea man.
Orgy, good band!
 
 
Aktuelle Stimmung: bouncybouncy
Aktuelle Musik: orgy-blue monday
 
 
20 Dezember 2005 @ 20:20
no problem. shoving down more lies. i had to, either way i'd be selfish about this ah, what to do? well, i'll do something that's for sure. A lie for a lie, that's 2 times as bad, but 2 times as deserving then.
 
 
20 Dezember 2005 @ 20:04
every time i think things are the way they are, they aren't. i guess i can't rely on situations or feelings and such things i thought were important.
i don't understand why people think i'm upset. i don't feel as if i look bad or come off sad or anything. it's like, just becuase i'm not acting like a crazy hyper. damn it another person just said that. so i'm sinking even though i'm trying not to. i guess i'm not trying hard enough. choppy choppy choppy, mr. mdlozdik says my sentences are too choppy and from the last few he's right about that as well.
 
 
18 Dezember 2005 @ 18:48
wtf.
 
 
18 Dezember 2005 @ 18:27
I just got my heart smashed.
it hasn't hit me yet but i dunno. i didn't see this coming i guess i waited too long or something. maybe i never had a chance i am so confused we're so alike. so that's it? no that was too easy to end wtf?
the peices fit, but they're falling away? i'm too casual w/ people i love. Stupid ramblings.
 
 
Aktuelle Stimmung: crushedcrushed